4.30.2009

That Constant Battle

There’s so many things that I want to say but when it comes down to it, I can’t. my thoughts just vanish

You know, many people tell me that these challenges in my life are there for a reason. These obstacles are supposed to teach me life lessons and make me stronger to the cold and cruel world out there. What I can’t seem to grasp is when will this all stop? Is it not possible to say that this sense of struggle might follow me throughout my life? They say, if you think you are having a bad day, someone is probably is having it worse. And to an extent that does put things into context but over time it just gets old.

Family. Is a big part of my life. Its me. And although my family and that sense of family is very important to me there are times where family is the source of my hurt, pain, and tears. Sometimes I just wish that these heart wrenching thoughts just vanish.

Im hurting inside and sometimes I don’t know why. Sometimes I don’t want to so I make it disappear from my mind, but in the end it comes back to haunt me. This wall that I worked so hard build with an misunderstanding that it was being strong has many flaws and so the day that it cracks will be a day that I fear.